I haven't posted since I created this blog. Not sure it's laziness, procrastination, fear, or insecurity but I just don't do things. Oh, I start projects but then ... nothing. Where is my passion? I know my creations are beautiful and well made, expert even, but I don't enjoy my process in creating. Instead of joy and pleasure in my creations I look at them in disappointment. I always think something is wrong. Not good enough. I think of them like that until I compare my projects to other like objects and then realize they are a cut above ... I am a cut above. I feel proud until the next project. Then, if I think I'll finish, I start in with my fear, insecurity, procrastination and the loathing. I pull the desire from my project and I'm left with half finished things that are now negative items to me.
Sure I try to blame other circumstances but really, at 55, it's time to stop. Time to move on and decide if I am a crafter or to let it go. In my heart, I love to create and what I create. It's just at 55 I don't know if I can reach inside and find that spark. Have I buried it too deep? Can I do it?
I'm gonna give it a go. My thoughts are to finish some WIPs and finish some obligations. Obligations that I want to do. Not that I HAVE to do. They are:
25 Rag Dolls
12 Pickle Ornaments
3 Tote Bags
My first step are the totes and bags because I said I would have them mailed by Tuesday. Then the ornaments cause I have to mail them too. Lastly, the rag dolls because I want to see what I can do.
Here I go...